Wrecked, Chapter Two: "You Won't Find Yourself Where You're Looking"

I'm trying to extract the essence of what Goins is asserting in this book and to minimize the impact of the manner by which the ideas are asserted. (But it's hard.[1]) One part of my frustration with the "manner" of the book may be a concern with audience. I'm still not quite sure to whom he's writing. Christian? Non-Christian? Those who want to be wrecked? Those who are wrecked? Those who should be wrecked, whether they want to be or not? At various points in the book, any or all of these audiences seem to be in play. As a result, the book seems to send contradictory messages. 

For example, Goins attempts to distinguish his book from "self-help books" by noting that they hold different basic assumptions. Self-help books function on the assumption that "life is supposed to be comfortable" (45), whereas Wrecked posits as different approach:

You can't grow without pain; you can't find your life's purpose if you aren't willing to embrace discomfort and join others in their suffering. Simply reading this book won't help. You need to act, too--to do something hard, even dangerous. Because it will change you, .... (53)

Just as chapter one had a nugget that one wants to embrace while getting rid of what surrounds it, this brief passage is the most direct, succinct, and powerful statement in chapter two. Unfortunately, it is once again linked back to the romantic, essentialist mindset of chapter one:

... and you will find that piece of you lost in the process of growing up, of becoming wise and aware of how the world works. You will become a child again. (53)

If possible, my children tend to avoid anything painful.  They will endure discomfort in order to be obedient, but left to their own devices, they would just as soon do what they deem comfortable at any given moment of the day.  So, I have a difficult time understanding why the choice to "embrace discomfort and join others in their suffering" is not dependent upon the wisdom and insight we gain as we mature.  I don’t understand what Goins seeks to achieve through enticing us with an idealized notion of childhood.  It’s this kind of stuff that makes it seem like he’s selling something.

There are other aspects of this chapter that I found problematic, also.  In describing the tendencies of our culture, Goins notes that “We think it’s about self-actualization, about becoming the best version of ourselves.  It’s not.  It’s about losing ourselves” (48).  Well, yes.  As a Christian seeking to decrease so that Christ-in-me might increase, I agree.  But then, about five pages later, we’re told that “Even if we get turned around in the process [of journeying beyond what is comfortable] and end up on our own doorstep, it will have been worth it, because we will have changed” (52-53).  Well, that risks sounding a lot like prioritizing self-actualization.

Then, of course, there’s the sentence following what I’ve quoted in the last paragraph: “That’s why I don’t believe in books and programs” (53).  Check out Goins’s website (http://goinswriter.com)  and let me know if you find that assertion slightly problematic.

I like what Goins is getting at—or, at least, what I understand Goins to be getting at.  Let’s combine our chapter-one nugget with our chapter-two nugget.

If we are to follow the Jesus who suffered with us and bled for us, we too must suffer. We must hold the dying in our arms. We must shed tears for hungry stomachs, trafficked children, and wandering souls. This is what He wants for us. It’s the reason we are called to lay down our nets and take up our crosses to pursue the Suffering Servant. And it’s the one thing we will avoid at all costs. It is not enough to feel bad. […] We must act. (40)

You can't grow without pain; you can't find your life's purpose if you aren't willing to embrace discomfort and join others in their suffering. Simply reading this book won't help. You need to act, too--to do something hard, even dangerous. Because it will change you, .... (53)

My issue with Goins continues to be the manner in which these points and conveyed.  I guess this brings me back to the question of audience.  Perhaps I’m simply not part of his.

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[1] This chapter, we’ve traded in John Mayer for Jason Bourne and Yoda.